I quit! (online dating)

Remember Daniel from Tinder? Of course you do. How could you forget such attuned listening skills?! Well, against my better judgment, after listening to a lecture from my 23 year old cousin about how I am too quick to write people off, I decided to give him a few extra chances. That resulted in a planned ice-cream date last night. He messaged me during the day, to confirm we were still on, but volunteered the information that he was lactose intolerant and didn’t like ice cream as it didn’t fit with his diet goals. I did think he might be Patrick Bateman, but figured a date with American Psycho would be good blog content.

Unfortunately, the date never materialized: 


Daniel either is the most socially-incompetent person ever (which, as the rest of my post will demonstrate, I highly doubt given the quality of his competition) or else he is one of those people that delights in gratuitously upsetting others. I took a bit too long to unmatch myself from him on Tinder, and so he had time to pile on a few additional venomous shots, such as, “I acknowledge my behavior to you was strange but I really had enjoyed seeing her the first time and was looking forward to seeing her a second time” and “Don’t get angry just because you got stood up and your ego took a hit.” Words to live by, oh wise one. I hope the ice cream gives him a bad case of diarrhea and stinky farts.

“But wait”, y’all say. “Don’t give up just because you stumbled upon one bad apple”. Perhaps y’all think that the problem is that I am on Tinder, renowned for being primarily a hookup facilitator. Perhaps my prospects would improve on other dating sites?

Behold, my top pics from Plenty Of Fish, from this weekend alone.

So cheesy, I developed temporary constipation of the heart. 


Another example of my pet peeve (described here and here). 


And the top nominee for Worst First Impression Ever.  


You guys, I just can’t. I can’t handle online dating. I can’t handle constantly steeling myself from whatever abuse or poor treatment will be thrown at me, minutes from logging on. I don’t like the bitch I become, as I try protect myself from these virtual insults, which shouldn’t bother me, but do. 

I’ll take remaining single and lonely over online dating any day. Prince Charming might be out there, but godammit, I’m done hunting through the pig-pens, looking for him.




  1. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL F*CK IS WRONG WITH THESE GUYS???? You need to start asking them if they speak to or kiss their mothers with those mouths of theirs. They are despicable! I want to pimp slap every last one of them! GAWD! I am so glad I am raising a gentleman. He is only 11, so you might have to hold out for about 7 years… but if you can wait that long, my son will be an absolute catch when he is of age. None of that kind of nonsensical bs disrespectful crap these guys are pulling! You ought to ask them if they would dare speak like that to your face, knowing that you ARE a boxer…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree with snarkyitpro- there is no point. And it does trigger abuse. When I told off the “boxing dude”, he launched into a vitriolic rant about how I am a paranoid c*nt seeing sexism everywhere, with a stick up my ass, and no sense of humour.

        There really is no point engaging.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Online dating is the worst. I’ve been doing it for years and the things guys think they can get away with. Good lord! I’m on my third round of Match.com at the moment and still haven’t actually gone on a date with anyone four months into it. This is why I quit in the first place yet I forget and continue to throw good money at this every few years. This is my last time and after the subscription is over, I’m done. At this point, I’m content that it’s just me and the cats.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It IS exhausting. And yet I still hold onto hope because of the success stories of people that I know. My sister met her husband on Match and they’ve been married seven years. The guys I have met over the years, ugh. Most don’t even get a second date!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve been doing the same. I just login to view the messages (all of them pretty bad) and reply if it merits my attention. Obviously, it’s not the same volume a woman will receive.

        I feel really bad about the abuse you and other women have to endure by members of my own gender. I’d offer to go out for drinks, purely platonic mind, just to show not all of us are uncouth cavemen.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. UMMMMMM HARD PASS on all of them. NO THANK YOU, GOOD RIDDANCE, GO FUCK YOURSELVES. Seriously, you deserve so much better. I’m sorry for these shitty experiences you’ve had–but you are not alone! I know exactly how you’re feeling–if it makes you feel better, I’m pretty sure I have dated 90% of the scum of the earth. We’re better off alone! And also, you are hilarious and smart and I admire how you deal with these idiots.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t like who I become. It’s a fine line btn being assertive and being a bitch… And I think I get it wrong.

      We are definitely better off alone. Prince Charming will one day wake up and seek us out and make us grilled cheese sandwiches.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There are certainly times I feel jaded about the whole experience. Then I see I got a message in my mailbox and for a moment there is a glimmer of hope… before I read something written by either someone functionally illiterate in English or French or a simple “hi” to accompany a profile with nothing of substance.

        Hope can be a terrible and wondrous thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. This is really horrible. I can’t get my head around how rude these guys are. How disheartening it must be to have anything like this in your life. Even if it’s just a small part. There’s got to be a better way to meet someone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s almost as if there aren’t any sane men on those online dating apps. Hope you’ll find a normal and perfectly sane man in real life then. Or maybe you’ll find one on here. Keep on blogging in a free world – The False Prophet

    Liked by 1 person

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