Tinderpersonations: 3 players, 3 fails

Let’s play a game. Which of the following 3 scenarios was actually conducted by me on Tinder? One of these matches/convos was done by me, one of these was done by Dynamo and one was done by GTC (short for “Good Taste in Clothes”, a close friend of Brown Socks and Dynamo. He was also present at Brown Socks’ bachelor party, and was the guy responsible for buying the nice shirt that Brown Socks had to ruin with ladies’ signatures).

Case study 1

That is the extent of that convo, to this day.

Case study 2

This pick up line should not be confused with the highly successful, “Excuse me, pardon my insolence, but I just had to tell you that you have a beautiful forehead. The transition from your eyebrows to your hairline is enviable!” **

** Apparently, I need to be honest and give credit for this masterful pickup line to my friend Bballer. Consider it henceforth copyrighted. Use it at your own risk.

Case study 3

Translation (I recommend noticing the timeline and degree of punctuation of this convo.)

Matthew: Hey how’s it going

Matthew: Hey

“Vanilla”: Hi!

Matthew: How’s it going

“Vanilla”: Fine, however I’m not particularly excited by this convo. A slow-mover, are you? Trying to not scare me away by being over-eager, right?

Conclusion

Using this sample to form a reasonable conclusion, I extrapolate that everyone, even normal girls and guys like Dynamo, GTC and me, everyone miserably fails at Tinder.

17 comments

I don’t understand the first two conversations.

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balletandboxing says:

September 10, 2015 at 9:43 am

Bc they suck.

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1. balletandboxing says:
  
  September 10, 2015 at 9:48 am
  
  Also, in the first scenario, the dude had a pic of a plane in his profile pics.
  
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2. John Callaghan says:
  
  September 10, 2015 at 9:59 am
  
  No kidding.
  
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Omg, the one about the smoothness of the back of the guys head lol

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balletandboxing says:

September 10, 2015 at 9:43 am

Yes. Brutal.

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balletandboxing says:

September 10, 2015 at 1:51 pm

I don’t want to give away the real identify of the person responsible for that doozy, but the name starts with a “B” in real life.

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1. ndgorchardgirl says:
  
  September 11, 2015 at 9:00 am
  
  Yup, I figured that one was his. It sounded just like something he would say lol
  
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The third one had me in stitches. Only thing once than boring or persistent is persistently boring. Have you seen the my life in finders instagram account? It has some real corkers.

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