You guys.
Some dude in China got caught cheating on each of his SEVENTEEN girlfriends! I’m not making this up. He was only found out after getting into a serious car accident (no girl was in the car with him – possibly the biggest shocker in this story!) and the hospital took his cell phone to find the contact info of his relatives. His SEVENTEEN “relatives” turned up at the hospital, and I can only imagine the hilarity that ensued.
Hilarity, apart from the small details like several of those girls were planning their weddings with him, and one of them had a son with him, and the longest relationship was nine years. Then it becomes less funny.
Still, I maintain this is one of the best examples of time management skills known to mankind. He could put that on his CV, right below the employment section “Biggest Lying Asshole in Asia 2006-2015”.
I have so many questions. Were all these women living in the same city? What was the geographical radius of his assholery? 10km? 50km? Just how desperate were these women? Is it culturally acceptable to periodically gift large sums of money to one’s boyfriend in China? Did any of these people get tested for STDs? Did he use a paper agenda or a smartphone to keep track of his schedule? Is this an internet hoax?
This story blows my mind.
Original coverage can be found here.
Discovering ratchet 
Omg, I can’t imagine what those women must have felt like. I hope they all dumped his sorry ass and that he gets sent to jail for fraud since he apparently was being supported by a few of them. I’ll bet he got in that accident after falling asleep at the wheel from the exhaustion of having to keep up with all of his different lives.
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That is amazing. Not that he was, but that he got caught finally. Can you imagine him dangling in the middle of his spider web of lies with 17 different black widows coming at him at the same time? That would be a great movie to watch…
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Can you imagine how much bitterness resulted from this asshat?
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I would just love to be a nurse or doctor at that hospital and be there as each of the new girls trickle in to find out what he did to them and then see how they get together to destroy him. It would be awesome.
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Holy shit. The birthdays. How did he keep track of the birthdays? I can barely do this with my wife of 10 years. 17 birthdays. Good lord.
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I KNOW.
For all the inherent dishonesty and jackassery required for him to have pulled this off, I maintain that this really is an example of an unusual and remarkable skillset. Most people could not have done this. Even if I could find 17 ppl I WANTED to lie to, I wouldn’t have been able to keep track of everything.
Birthdays, anniversaries, favorite colors, favorite perfumes, food allergies, pet names, even proper behavioral quirks in the bedroom…
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That last one could make things really messy. Shit, having regular sex with 17 women would be a daunting challenge for anyone.
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I bet he called them all darling or babe. Apparently that’s the best way to cheat and get away with it. Ever since I heard that (no doubt made up) fact, I’ve always been suspicious of vague pet names
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Oh dear, I love calling ppl babe.
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Haha. I call everyone love, lovely or sweetheart. It is partly because I’m crap at names- but I’m not going out with them all. I like the North of England: people call you duck and pet there.
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Duck!!!!! That is amazing. Like the French “mon petit chou” = “my little cabbage”.
I need to explore this culinary theme.
My little jelly belly.
My little poached egg.
My little turducken.
My little chocolatine.
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Ooooh I like those. Although I’m not sure what a turducken is. Sounds like an exotic weapon.
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A chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. This exists.
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No way. What a bizarre idea. Does it taste good?
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Never tried it.
http://homecooking.about.com/od/turkeyrecipes/ss/turduckensbs.htm#step2
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I kind of want to make one and invite people round for dinner. Just so we can say, sorry can you pass the turducken? More turducken love? And so on. All night long. Fuck it, maybe I’ll just burn a chicken and lie to them that it’s a turducken.
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Hahahah yes that sounds easier.
I love the word, but the concept itself kinda grosses me out.
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