On Saturday morning, I waltzed into a brunch spot I’d never been to, near my home. I was excited to see friends that I hadn’t seen in months. And bacon. I was excited for bacon.

Soon after I sat down, I spotted Lawyer walking into the restaurant. I was surprised, which really, I shouldn’t have been, since the restaurant is almost next door to his home. It was the first time I’d run into him since I wrote this snarky post about him, which caused him to unfriend me on Facebook.

At first I panicked. What if he noticed me? What if it was awkward? I excel at being awkward. It’s kinda my thing.

Then my friends all showed up, and there was a brouhaha of hellos and hugs and noisy lovey-dovey moments. Lawyer glanced over to our group and noticed me. He gave me one of these smiles:

I did a quick run-down of the situation.

Me:

• Wearing clean clothes AND mascara AND non-hobo hair (very unusual for a Saturday morning)
• Surrounded by my gorgeous friends who were all clearly delighted to see each other
• Generally looking fabulous and happy

Him:

• Sitting alone at the diner’s counter
• Sporting the slightly pasty look of someone working ridiculous hours in a sunless office

I was quite satisfied with the situation.

Part of me acknowledged I was being petty. But most of me gleefully enjoyed the moment.

All of me enjoyed the bacon.

#oksoIamnotaniceperson

#blogginghazards

#youknowIamnottheonlygirlwhothinksthisway

#baconismybae