Like any professional, and probably like most women, I love me a guy in a well cut suit. Sexy. A suit can take any man, no matter the physique, and turn him into a sexier, more attractive, version of himself. It can hide all manner of flaws (see this example), and gives the illusion of intelligence when there is none.

Part of the suit-look is the art of the tie. Some ties are ugly. Some are works of beauty. Some convey authority, others imply pigheaded arrogance. All of this, I’ve observed and enjoyed and critiqued for years.

What I didn’t know is that there is a certain skill-set required in wearing a tie. A tie is not a bib (lifehack 101). While some ties can be mistaken for food catchers worn by babies, be ye not so foolish. Different purposes, requiring different behaviours.

Exhibit A: my mom’s vintage blouse from the 70s, with the big floppy bow tie.  

Cute look, yes? Well, I wrecked it slightly by accidentally dipping my bow tie in my full coffee mug during a big meeting this morning. By the time I noticed, my tie was soaking wet. I attempted to wring the material of my shirt discreetly without leaving the meeting in the boardroom.

Yeah, keeping a low-profile isn’t my forte. The CFO burst out laughing, observing me.

And that, ladies and gents, is how I learned that there is a skill set involved in wearing a tie. I did say that the whole professional (suit and) tie look could mask deficiencies in intelligence, did I not? Ahem.