Introducing Bob

Bob is one of those guys. The kind that takes all the space, draws all the attention to himself. Cocky as fuck. A bit of a dick, always careening about, trying to take up as much space as possible. “Look at me” seems to be his motto.

Bob comes and goes as he pleases. He’s usually angry, very red-faced, looking like he’s a volcano about to erupt. Sometimes I wonder if he has rabies. He rarely gives any warning before showing up, just bursting on the scene, wrecking any plans already in place.

So frustrating, except I’ve known him so long, I actually get concerned if he doesn’t make an appearance for a few months. Dysfunctional relationship, right there.


Bob is a pimple. He likes to hangout right in the arch of my left eyebrow, so swollen it looks like I got a whopping punch to the eye socket. 

I fucking hate Bob.



    1. Honestly, I figured Bob was a guy, bc this growth on my face resembles an engorged, red, dick. I have an erect dick growing out of my forehead, that refuses to cover up.

      Bob is a dick. I said so from the beginning.


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