Prepping for my first boxing fight in 2 years. NBD.

T- 3 days. Below, a moderate extract of my thoughts in the past 48 hours:

Well, I am 2 kilos underweight, so I guess that means I can eat as many KitKats as I want right? No, Vanilla, no. Cherish your body. Nourish it with the best, most nutritious foods you can find. You are an athlete. Eat like one. Go get yourself a delightful spinach, quinoa, cranberry salad, with a side of chicken. Doesn’t that sound delicious? Sure it does! Wait, how did this grilled cheese sandwhich find its way to my mouth?! Yummy. Can I have a 2nd one?

I hope I win my fight.

What if I break my nose? I don’t wanna be ugly????? I wonder what would upset me more: a broken nose or a bad concussion? The nose, but I don’t think I should say that out loud. Makes me seem vain. I am vain, but I don’t want people to know. Heck, everyone can tell anyways. I have nothing to hide: I need to OWN my sassy fabulous self, just like Beyoncé. I AM VAIN, BITCHES. DON’T BREAK MY NOSE OR I WILL BREAK YOUR OVARIES AND DROP KICK YOU AND SPRAY YOU WITH THE BLOOD FROM MY BROKEN NOSE. That sounded exactly like Beyoncé. #lemonade

I wish Walking on Sunshine could be my entrance song. That would confuse the hell out of my opponent. VANILLA IN DA HOUSE.

I probably should start concentrating at work right now.

I am pretty sure I only know how to throw 2 punches. Can I win a fight with 2 punches?

I wish I had gone running for 35 minutes twice a day every day for the past 6 years – what if my cardio isn’t on point for this fight? I don’t want Coach to yell at me AGAIN… This time if he asks me if I am tired, mid-fight, I must remember to LIE. Amazons are NEVER tired.

I kinda want all of my friends to show up. Except if I lose. Then I want none of my friends to show up. I want my friends to know in advance if they should show up or not.

I look like a kitten when I spar. When will I look like a badass boxer? I want to look legit. I wish I had any athletic talent whatsover. I guess I should hold onto my day job.

OMG what if I lose, how embarrassing is that? POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT. Or wtv. Really, I just want another grilled cheese sandwhich. How can I be hangry if I am eating this much. Oh wait. What if I am overweight? I want to weigh myself RIGHT NOW. But I am at work.

I really wish I wasn’t at work.

This sport is stupid.




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